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Gods & Dogs, Day 1

Chris Gable
21 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

Meet our first batch of all-time automotive stunners and shockers.

The countdown is on. Your votes have been pouring in, and, to give you another insight into how we’re thinking, we’re going to start sharing with you our automotive gods and dogs.

Here’s the first batch of cars that, like cream, floated to the top of the inaugural Wheels’ Gods and Dogs straw poll of the most beautiful, and ugliest, cars of any era. Equally, meet some of the flea-bitten shockers that made our flipside list of unloved mongrels.

We’ll count down to the top 10 in each category this week before naming our official Gods and Dogs on Friday.

Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, of course. As is ugliness, it must be said. But, by sheer strength of numbers, our first duo on both sides of the coin are:

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Gods & Dogs, Day 2

Chris Gable
22 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

Okay, there's an Aston Martin in this lot. But, believe it or not, there are also Porsches on both sides of our Beauties and Beasts ledger.

You know the competition’s tough when Aston Martin’s DB9 and Porsche’s iconic 911 are relegated to Day 2 in a five-day shootout for Most Beautiful Car Ever status.

But that’s the way it is. At least, that’s the way the Wheels crew has voted ’em in to our Top 10 countdown.

From what we’ve seen in our bulging email box, Aston and Porsche fans abound out there in Webland. The ‘Anything Aston’ and ‘Pick a Porsche’ brigades are rock solid in their belief that cars don’t come much better looking than most Astons and Porsches.

But what about on the other side of the coin? As evangelical types might say, the Lord taketh and the Lord taketh away… As some Wheels staffers have oft said (enough of the evangelical stuff!), what was Porsche thinking when it begat (sorry!), the Cayenne. More about that in a minute …

And our other Day 2 mangy mutt? Well, take a look below, and the Thing’ll become obvious.

Click here to continue article



Gods & Dogs, Day 3

Chris Gable
22 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

The countdown continues with two more desirable deities and a couple of canines as we head towards our most beautiful and ugliest cars of all time.

Another day, more automotive treasure… and trash.

And, yes, before you start pounding your keyboard – if you’re anti-Aston, anyway – there’s another current Aston Martin in this lot. That’s the way the votes have gone and that, after all, is how democracy works. (No prizes for guessing it’s another God, either.)

Our countdown towards our ultimate beautiful cars of any era – and the biggest dogs – arrives at day 3 with yet more Aston attitude and Italian elegance. On the right side of the scale, that is. Strange bedfellows in the kennel are a (thankfully) fairly recently departed Japanese small sedan and, literally, a three-legged dog.

So, without further ado, here goes…

Click here to continue article



Gods & Dogs, Day 4

Chris Gable
24 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

We're getting towards the pointy, controversial end of our Top 10 countdown to the most beautiful - and ugliest - cars ever. Bring it on.

A day out from announcing our ultimate Gods and Dog, and there’s controversy in the air. Which is how it should be.

One of today’s gods also got voted a dog. But that’s okay. Its ‘yes’ votes were enough to reassert its heavenly status … even if we’ll never convince the judge who gave it the thumbs-down. You can’t please everyone.

We’ve also been accused of mistaking a frog for a god (Porsche’s 911 … can you believe). But we can take it. Bring it on, we say. The more argument, the better. That’s just one of the things that makes the world’s wheels go round, especially when it comes to sticking up for your automotive gods and dogs.

So, here – one day out from the big day – are the cars that made it onto the second rows of our totally opposing grids.

Click here to continue article



Deities & Dishlickers

Chris Gable
25 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

The final frontier for our Gods and Dogs most beautiful and ugliest cars poll.

Today’s the day. The day, that is, when we name Wheels’ winning Gods and whining Dogs.

We’ve built you up all week. Worked the crowd, as it were. Now, it’s time to give out the gold ... and dish out the dog food.

But, before we do...

When the votes were tallied, our dog of automotive dogs romped it in. No question. And it’s a contemporary, um, car to boot. If we were handing out trophies, we’d throw this one a bone.

The runner-up all-time shocker also easily cemented its place in our cars-we-never-want-to-see-again list. We’re all happy that it never came here, and that it’s been relegated to the dog house even in the parochial US of A.

Our winners, on the other hand, weren’t so easy to split. They were tied on equal votes. And, as you’re about to find out, they both happen to be classic Italian supercars. Read into that what you will...

Therefore, without fear or favour, we present Wheels’ all-time Gods and Dogs awards to:

Click here to continue article


 

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Re: The Countdown Is On! Gods & Dogs: The Best & Worst Cars Of All Time - Vote Now!

Richard Bremner, contributor to the UK's Car magazine, did a terrific series, full of his usual brilliant sarcasm, in the late 1980s called Dogs.

On the list: Talbot Horizon, AMC Pacer, Datsun 120Y, Rolls-Royce Corniche, Austin Allegro, Triumph TR6, Austin 3-litre...
 

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Re: The Countdown Is On! Gods & Dogs: The Best & Worst Cars Of All Time - Vote Now!

A friend of mine had a Dato 120Y (baby poo brown) three door 3speed auto. It was so gutless that we had to get two of us tostand behind it and bounce the bumper, to get the wheels spinning....on wet clay. On the other hand, another friend of mine rebuilt a 120Y sedan. It sounded hot 2" with extractors and when crammed inside it, with the red lighting and monster tacho, it felt like you were bending time.

Worst, that I have been in, would have to be the infamous Leyland Marina. My aunt had one as her first car, and even though I was about 10, I could still tell that it was a heap of ****.
 

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Re: The Countdown Is On! Gods & Dogs: The Best & Worst Cars Of All Time - Vote Now!

Worst, that I have been in, would have to be the infamous Leyland Marina. My aunt had one as her first car, and even though I was about 10, I could still tell that it was a heap of ****.
And guess who got the tooling for the crappy E6-powered Marina after Leyland shut down the Zetland plant in Sydney? G-d, what were Leyland thinking?

At least the South Africans, unlike Aussies, had the good taste not to paint them pink...


...and they put the E6 motor to good use, fitting it to the Land Rover! It also went into the SA-built Rover 2600SD, which turned out to be smoother and more economical than the Triumph-derived UK version! Shame though that Leyland hired Stevie Wonder to train its assembly workers...

***

My favourite car my family ever had... my Dad's first Alfetta, one of the very first in town, bought in late 1973. G-d I loved that car. Look closely you can see the boot of our Alfetta poking out of our driveway here, where twelve-year-old t-rex romps through the waters of the great Cape Town "flood" of '79! The Mazda belonged to our alcoholic neighbour-lady, Miss Pat, who was known as "Pat the Piss-Cat" and it was reputed she humped half the married men in Pinelands...



He replaced it late 1979 with another Alfetta, this time a 2000 Super Executive Automatic, dark metallic brown with cream-coloured leather interior. It was the boxier facelift model, with the heavier bumpers replacing the pretty slim ones of the earlier model and then-fashionable large rectangular headlamps. It was more luxurious than our old jalopy, fitted with some hip-kit for '79, like power windows, stereo/tape, and hand-crank sunroof! It looked just like this, only RHD...



Alfas were fine cars in their heyday, on par with BMW's quality, and more superbly engineered. South Africans took to them in droves, and we had the highest market share of Alfas outside of Italy. The local operation was thriving, but the plant was shut down in 1985 because of financial issues back in Italy. Sad footnote... Alfa SA couldn't sell all the spare parts at their depot, for customs reasons, and there were too many parts for the dealers to order the whole lot, so they were piled onto a concrete pad and crushed with a bulldozer. Insane.

Mom soldiered on with her dark blue 3-litre Granada GXL until she was t-boned coming out of the Howard Centre; and just days after my youngest brother was born! The "Grenade" was replaced by a shiny new red metallic 1980 Audi 200 GLX 5E automatic. It was the worst car ever made, spending half its life in the dealer's service department, and was rusting before its second birthday.

It was Hell stuffing six kids into either car! Back in those days, before anything resembling child safety came to mind, we travelled in the same order each trip... me, Jill, Seth and David squeezed in the back seat, Heath in Mom's lap and Derek sitting proudly atop the centre console, his life constantly being threatened by Dad because he was fond of kicking the lever out of gear. Dad put an end to that by buying an automatic! Seth's incessant farting further worsened any journey. By the time Heath came along, it was an impossible situation on a trip of any length lasting more than half an hour, and there were occasions we hired a minibus for the trip. I remember our trip out to Addo Elephant Park in the Eastern Cape... we took a Toyota Hiace 10-seater. Why my parents never bought something like a VW Kombi or a big Aussie tank wagon like Chrysler Valiant or Chev Constantia is a mystery.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Re: The Countdown Is On! Gods & Dogs: The Best & Worst Cars Of All Time - Vote Now!

Gods & Dogs, Day 2

Chris Gable
22 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

Okay, there's an Aston Martin in this lot. But, believe it or not, there are also Porsches on both sides of our Beauties and Beasts ledger.

You know the competition’s tough when Aston Martin’s DB9 and Porsche’s iconic 911 are relegated to Day 2 in a five-day shootout for Most Beautiful Car Ever status.

But that’s the way it is. At least, that’s the way the Wheels crew has voted ’em in to our Top 10 countdown.

From what we’ve seen in our bulging email box, Aston and Porsche fans abound out there in Webland. The ‘Anything Aston’ and ‘Pick a Porsche’ brigades are rock solid in their belief that cars don’t come much better looking than most Astons and Porsches.

But what about on the other side of the coin? As evangelical types might say, the Lord taketh and the Lord taketh away… As some Wheels staffers have oft said (enough of the evangelical stuff!), what was Porsche thinking when it begat (sorry!), the Cayenne. More about that in a minute …

And our other Day 2 mangy mutt? Well, take a look below, and the Thing’ll become obvious.

Click here to continue article

 

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Premium Member
Joined
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7,113 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Re: The Countdown Is On! Gods & Dogs: The Best & Worst Cars Of All Time - Vote Now!

Gods & Dogs, Day 3

Chris Gable
22 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

The countdown continues with two more desirable deities and a couple of canines as we head towards our most beautiful and ugliest cars of all time.

Another day, more automotive treasure… and trash.

And, yes, before you start pounding your keyboard – if you’re anti-Aston, anyway – there’s another current Aston Martin in this lot. That’s the way the votes have gone and that, after all, is how democracy works. (No prizes for guessing it’s another God, either.)

Our countdown towards our ultimate beautiful cars of any era – and the biggest dogs – arrives at day 3 with yet more Aston attitude and Italian elegance. On the right side of the scale, that is. Strange bedfellows in the kennel are a (thankfully) fairly recently departed Japanese small sedan and, literally, a three-legged dog.

So, without further ado, here goes…

Click here to continue article

 

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Premium Member
Joined
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7,113 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Gods & Dogs, Day 4

Chris Gable
24 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

We're getting towards the pointy, controversial end of our Top 10 countdown to the most beautiful - and ugliest - cars ever. Bring it on.

A day out from announcing our ultimate Gods and Dog, and there’s controversy in the air. Which is how it should be.

One of today’s gods also got voted a dog. But that’s okay. Its ‘yes’ votes were enough to reassert its heavenly status … even if we’ll never convince the judge who gave it the thumbs-down. You can’t please everyone.

We’ve also been accused of mistaking a frog for a god (Porsche’s 911 … can you believe). But we can take it. Bring it on, we say. The more argument, the better. That’s just one of the things that makes the world’s wheels go round, especially when it comes to sticking up for your automotive gods and dogs.

So, here – one day out from the big day – are the cars that made it onto the second rows of our totally opposing grids.

Click here to continue article

 

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Premium Member
Joined
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7,113 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Deities & Dishlickers

Chris Gable
25 October 2008
www.wheelsmag.com.au

The final frontier for our Gods and Dogs most beautiful and ugliest cars poll.

Today’s the day. The day, that is, when we name Wheels’ winning Gods and whining Dogs.

We’ve built you up all week. Worked the crowd, as it were. Now, it’s time to give out the gold ... and dish out the dog food.

But, before we do...

When the votes were tallied, our dog of automotive dogs romped it in. No question. And it’s a contemporary, um, car to boot. If we were handing out trophies, we’d throw this one a bone.

The runner-up all-time shocker also easily cemented its place in our cars-we-never-want-to-see-again list. We’re all happy that it never came here, and that it’s been relegated to the dog house even in the parochial US of A.

Our winners, on the other hand, weren’t so easy to split. They were tied on equal votes. And, as you’re about to find out, they both happen to be classic Italian supercars. Read into that what you will...

Therefore, without fear or favour, we present Wheels’ all-time Gods and Dogs awards to:

Click here to continue article


 
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