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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was in a gas station the other day doing my part to fight terrorism by filling my dads truck with regular unleaded, when I decided to go inside and get a snack . Before I stepped in, a loud....dustbuster sound filled the air and poisoned my ears. I looking behind me and there were 4 rice burners with X-treme riders decaled on them, pulled in and acted all Homeboyish and asked to "filler rup".

I turned around and went in, When I walked down the aisle I noticed that the snack I usually get, Corn Nuts, was missing, and in its place were CORN NUTS: CORN GONE WRONG, I was confused. It looked like my regular Corn Nuts, but the packaging had X-TREME attitude, it was more OUTRAGEOUS and/or TOTALLY AWESOME. There was even a new mascot: a corn on the cob with a fist clenched in defiance, which I can relate to because I too am rebellious and angst-filled. Marketing this powerful grabs me by the **** and forces me to buy this product. On the back of the package you might expect to find a product description, but no. You get more BAD ATTITUDE.

The packaging asks a simple rhetorical question: "THINK THIS IS JUST SOME ORDINARY CORN SNACK?" Before you can even say "yes" to yourself, you get slammed with: "WRONG!" In your face! Corn Nuts marketing: 1, your judgement: 0. I can't argue with the packaging, Corn Nuts are indeed hardcore--as hardcore as fried vegetables can be. This package was so inspiring that I decided to create my own packaging for a fictitious brand of banana chips using the same formula

Little by little, advertisers are moving towards the "X-TREME" marketing school of thought (or lack of thought, as the case may be). Everything from Jello to health bars, and punk losers who live with their parents and are over 18 years old.... are being plastered with the "X-TREME" eye sore.

I bought the X-TREME Soynut bar and took it home to try it out, because I bet people who snowboard and bungee jump live off of X-TREME Soynut bars and Mountain Dew (Mountain Dew is by far the most X-TREME brand of sugar water). When I got home, I anxiously opened the package, stepped back a few feet, and waited for the bar to back flip off of the table and jump into my mouth. The bar just sat there. I couldn't understand: the packaging said "X-TREME" but the Soynut bar seemed incapable of mountain biking. Thinking that I got a defective bar, I moved onto the Jello. I opened the package and waited for the jello to kick me in the face and force its way down my throat. Alas, nothing. It just sat there, almost as if I bought a non-X-TREME brand of product: the plain old nerdy kind of food that you can eat without cruising on a skateboard. Damndest thing, because the package clearly indicates a significant amount of TOTALLY AWESOME attitude.

I felt ripped off, so in an effort to salvage the money I wasted on this bull****, I ate six cups of jello, one bag of corn nuts, a Soynut bar, and a bag of jelly beans for dinner. The only thing X-TREME about this experience was the X-TREME dump I took later that night

I finally realized that the real spirit of X-TREME sports lies not in the food you eat, or the ricers you meet, but in the **** you take afterwards and the explosion you hear when they all crash into a tractor trailer trying to impress their fellow peers. I learned a valuable lesson: X-TREME marketing isn't just a ploy to get gullible teens to waste their money on crappy products(cars, jello, food), but it's a way of life that rewards patient and faithful consumers with diarrhea that contains magical X-TREME Sports fairies who can grant you wishes. Either that, or stomach cancer and high blood pressure. O and about those ricers...."i tink days blows upd, dawg!"
 

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:roflmao:

Oh, and I've just added that smilie because of this thread. :D
 

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Here are more Xtreme links to make your day more Xtreme:

http://www.lxwrestling.com/

http://pyropepper.com/Merchant2/merchant.m...oduct_Code=1318

http://www.s-10xtreme.com/

http://www.mothernature.com/shop/detail.cfm/sku/82946



Xtreme is ideal for anyone of any age who craves a sweet and healthy, anytime snack. Xtreme comes in four delectable flavors, all featuring GeniSoyâ??s premium roasted soy nuts, 9 grams of soy protein and 19 vitamins and minerals per serving. Xtreme is rich in taste but surprisingly low in saturated fat -- Peanut Butter Fix, Rocky Roadtrip and Carrot Cake Quake have only 3g and Razberry Rush only 3.5g of saturated fat per serving.

My favorite, some anti-drug commercial or some such.....

Safety, its XTREEEEEME!
 

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:roflmao: Yes we needed that one, cause thats exactly what i did when I read the tread. My buddy read it and didnt laugh, maybe us GMi people are a special type... Good idea Pringle a nap sounds swell.
 

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hahaha, easily the funniest thing i've ever read here. :roflmao: very nice story writing abilities you've got there my friend, nice work:) still laughing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thank you, and i really like the site. Im still used to the other one because it was easy on the eyes. I went on and i was like WO what the ****!?!? and then i read that little sentence "we updated our sight again'.... I was like, aaaah crap, not again. But looking at other peoples delapadated websites trying to stoop to your(Branden, Rex, and any other person who helped create this site) artistic level, just plan sucked at it. This has to be the best site ever made. Nuff said.
 

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Hey Rex, Could you add a constant flashing background to the forum pages? You know, to make it more extreme?? And we need more topics about people skateboarding and feeding Lions!! (i mean the Detroit Lions, they're pretty hungry)

Oh, and is there any way to add "To The X-Treme" to everyone's login name??

Thanks,

Frenstall - :rudolph: To The X-Treme!! :rudolph:
 
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