How long did it take...

4th try (and I technically failed that one too).

Am I the only unlucky one or are some of you guys lying?

Used my mom's '92 maxima v6. I hate fwd cars, you drive in a very awkward position (like you're in a go cart) and the brakes are much more sensitive than my firebird.

Never taken any course or read any books, as most of us haven't.

Missed one question (39/40) on the written, it asked for the NAME of a SIGN. I don't know what hell that thing is called but I sure as hell know it means caution/slow down. (Some lady with a see-saw and a kid and a purse or some stupid *** thing.)

I had 3 different driving testers, all were a**holes.

Guy 1st & 4th time.
Fat Lady 2nd time.
Old Tweaker Lady 3rd time.

First Try - Guy

I drove like a normal person, except I stopped for the full 2 seconds at signs, and I didn't speed back up to the normal speed (25) on a road after a school zone (15) for a LONG time because there was no sign saying "End Zone" or "25 mph." I also TIPPED 26 mph (on 25) going downhill because I didn't want to get on my brakes when I noticed I was speeding up (no foot on the gas the whole time, but I leaned slowly on the brakes so he wouldn't notice... he did.) He also lectured me on how "25 mph limit" doesn't mean I have to drive 25, it means that's the fastest I should drive, and kept implying I should be driving slightly slower.

Not driving the speed limit (speeding - 26)
Not driving the speed limit (too slow - 15)
Late braking (the 1mph over limit downhill thing)

Failed.

Second Try - Fat Lady

I drove like a normal person, plus the full 2 second stop sign stops, and paid EXTRA careful attention to the speedometer (which by now I found was slighty off, and would take a second to slow down to actual speed). Drove a different route through a neighborhood with cars parked along both sides of the 2 lane street. (1 lane per side). I was driving slightly towards the center (by habit) because a) no other moving cars were anywhere in sight and B) there were young kids playing all over the place and I wouldn't be able to see a kid step out in front of a car parked on the right side until it was too late. Then there was a stop light where she told me to take a right, it was 1 lane that was wide enough (easily) for 2 cars, but it wasn't marked for two lanes and there were two cars in front of me. I could have taken the right (weren't any "no right on red" signs) but I just stayed behind the cars in front of me that were going straight or left. When the light is about to change, some punkass in a dropped & primered civic hatchback was behind me with his right blinker on REVVING AT ME with his fart can exhaust! The light changed and I took the right and the civic "sped by" (as quick as a civic COULD speed by). Looked around and saw this was a highway not a main road, so I began to accelerate up to highway speed (along with everyone else, of course) then she mentioned to get into my left lane. I immediately signaled and checked my mirrors and glanced behind me. Saw a semi coming up about 6~7 carlengths behind me so I stepped on the gas and got in front of him (not cutting him off at all). She YELLED at me that I was speeding. I quickly checked my speedometer... said 37... I scanned the road... I saw a sign in the distance that read 35. That bitch! I was passing someone and I was already off the gas before she said anything. Finally she told me to drive back, I said how do I get there (I don't know the area at all) and she told me take the next right. I was already in the right lane at the time, and it broke into 2 lanes suddenly. I just stay in the right lane and took the right at the green light. SHE FREAKED OUT AT ME!! She said I didn't signal or check behind me at all. I said I did signal, but why would I check behind me for the light? (There were two cars behind me by a good distance, based on my periodic checks from the rear view mirror.) She said that was the only time I changed lanes without checking behind me and that it was dangerous! I told her I didn't change lanes, I was ALWAYS in the right. She didn't understand what I was telling her, and I'm probably wrong, maybe if the lane turns into two lanes you're supposed to signal. If so, my bad. (I still honestly don't know, but I do what's safe and courtious when I drive anyway so I probably do signal.) I probably would have done it by habit if I had known it branches right there. I even told her the color/make/model of the two nearest cars behind me as well as how far they were behind me since she noticed that I hadn't turned my head back at all- she didn't care nor did she say anything after she turned around and saw that I was right. Got back to the DMV and told me to park it. She told me the things I did wrong and didn't listen to my reasoning.

Not driving within the lane (kids everywhere!!)
Not taking the free right (!?!!?!?Didn't want more points taken off!!)
- She mentioned the "car behind us was getting mad..." (RICERS ALWAYS DRIVE LIKE THAT!!!)
Not driving the speed limit (2mph over on the highway... look out we're gonna die! Didn't argue this one I said I was sorry and should double check unfamiliar areas.)
Not checking behind me while "changing lanes" (!?!!? I was ALWAYS in the right and I STILL knew what was behind me and how far away they were! And it wouldn't have mattered anyway I was in front of them!)

Failed.

Third Try - Old Tweaker Lady

Same place, same car, partly same route. I drove COMPLETELY different. I drive below the limit almsot the entire time. NEVER came close the 1 mph over. I slowed down taking turns on green lights (although I do that normally unless I'm already driving slow). No parked cars and kids, no unexpected branching lanes. I took everything nice and easy. Parallel parked perfectly. I think I forgot to turn the wheels to the right, but I didn't even shut off the engine, so I didn't even begin to think of it because it's not really "parking." She just said get between those trucks, I did. She said put it into park, I did. She stuck her head out the window and said let's go, take right up ahead. Signaled and did what she said. On my way out she mentioned I didn't "fully turn my wheel to the curb." She said head back to the DMV. I got lucky and found my way there, no problems. Parked it. She said I drive too slow! She LECTURED me on driving too slow and impeding traffic and "slowing to turn on the green light." "Why would you SLOW on a GREEN?!" I said, "I wanted to make sure I had a clear view on the lane before I drove through at the speed limit, there might be kids around." (It was a grade school.) She said "THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO WALK IF IT'S A GREEN FOR YOU! OTHERWISE WHY DON'T WE JUST TOSS OUT THE TRAFFIC LIGHT SYSTEM!" (She was screaming or freaking out like the fat b*tch, but she sounded rather annoyed, just not pissed.) I said, it was a green, so they had the right of way to WALK ACROSS THE STREET and that I drove like an old blind asian woman because this was my THIRD time taking the test and the previous two testers marked me because I hit 1 & 2 mph over for a second or two. She told me that doesn't matter, "everyone does it!" (Yeah bitch, I know that.) "It's fine to drive a couple miles over, but you were driving like 4-5 miles UNDER sometimes. You kept that speed just fine why don't you just adjust it accordingly? You know, cops can pull you over for driving too slowly too!" (TRUST me bitch, that ain't gonna happen anytime soon.) By the way, I was polite to all of them until I knew I failed.

Driving too damn slow.
Didn't turn wheels fully to the curb.

Failed.

Fourth Test - First Guy

Same route the guy took me on the first time. Much shorter. I don't even remember this test. (Probably because he didn't comment on my driving so I had nothing to argue about to remember.) All I remember is that I failed, but he knew it was my fourth time and said something like, "Man, this is your FOURTH time and I'm just going to give you your license. Just don't drive too much on your own until you get more practice." He still said it like a jackass, though.

Probably "speeding."
Probably "checking to see what he was writing," minus a point!
Probably something about that 15mph school zone, I STILL didn't see a school zone end sign.

Failed, but was licensed anyway.

Great, I got a "pity license." Overall, if I had taken the first test with the old lady (or the second) I would have passed, but I kept adjusting my driving to the previous testers comments, which were all different from each others. Also, all the testers kept mentioned that "take my turns at the wrong time" or something weird like that. "This isn't a big car, why do you drive like that?" Uhm... because I learned in a monte carlo 350, a mustang 302, a firebird 355, and a lincoln dohc281, and several 4wd trucks/jeeps. The only import I've driven before my mom's maxima was a turbo starion (rwd I believe).

When I got my license, I was about to do a fat burnout on my way out. (The 3.0 v6 has some decent torque in it.) My mom in the passenger seat said, "Damnit don't get a ticket the first day you get your license!" That DMV was the back part of a police station! I figured I'd just tell the cops my frustration and tell them that I drive a firebird, since all those cops have Z28's and SS's! Haha, yeah that burnout sure would have showed 'em I was ready to drive alright!

Anyway, sorry for the LONG *** POST. But even after several years I'm still pissed about the whole situation. (Being one of the last people you know to get your license when you've got the fastest car sitting in your garage is really annoying!)

Laters,
Scott