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Posted in the Australian newspaper The Daily Telegraph, I figured you guys would get a kick out of it.

Beat the fuel blues with a V8.

Tim Blair

July 12, 2008


LET'S say you're among the one million or so Australians who'll buy a new car this year.

With the cost of living and fuel prices, economy will be a major concern.

But you also need something big enough to haul the spouse, kids and - if you live out Gosford way - unlicensed NSW Education Minister John Della Bosca, should he flag you down on the way home from another action-packed night on the town.

Assume you've got 40 grand to play with, including trade-in dough.

Also assume your spouse at one time suffered a serious head injury, so he/she has lately been into you about the environment.

He/she rates windchimes as a more useful invention than the internal combustion engine. He/she should take a good look at him/herself.

Your entanglement with this person may lead you towards a Toyota dealership to test a petrol/electric hybrid Prius.

Now, the Prius is plenty roomy inside. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd chose a Prius as his government car, so the compact Toyota is clearly big enough to sleep in.

And very economical! According to official figures, a Prius only drinks 4.4 litres per 100km. That's less than would be consumed by a Dubbo rugby league team on an end-of-season trip to Coffs Harbour.

But before you slam down 40 large on a Prius, do your sums.

Money is tight in 2008. Can you afford to blow all your cash on a $40,000 Gaia-powered oestrogen wagon?

Is earning street cred from people who think cars should be illegal anyway really worth such a massive investment?

Shouldn't that spouse of yours be outside cleaning the yard instead of downloading the Garnaut Report?

So pause a while. Examine all your motoring options.

Compare prices for new and used vehicles. Analyse fuel prices. Scan every available chunk of econometric data you can possibly access. Once you do, you'll discover this:

The only rational choice for the budget-conscious motorist is a gigantic V8.

The Daily Telegraph recently ran a story on local car dealers who are struggling to sell big V8-engined cars.

One dealer, Allan Homsi of Everlast Autos, had a sweet 5.7-litre V8 Commodore SS on his lot for sale at just $9990.

That's about six grand below market valuation.

I called Allan this week. He'd subsequently sold the well-maintained 2000 Holden, but only after slashing another thousand off the advertised price.

Someone in Sydney is rumbling around in a rockin'-hot V8 sold new for around $45,000 and bought just eight years later with loose change.

Let's say - it's a big assumption, but stay with me - that this canny buyer was in our category of potential Prius purchasers.

By opting for the unwanted V8, he saved about $31,000 off the list price of a new hybrid.

At current pump prices, that means he's got enough left in the bank to buy 19,375 litres of petrol _ sufficient to propel that Commodore for 161,458km, given its estimated 12l/100k fuelconsumption.
Australian motor vehicles are driven an average 14,600km per year, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

The Commodore buyer has saved enough on purchase price alone compared to the Prius to cover - get this - 11 years of driving.

Moreover, he's covered those 11 years while owning something that doesn't scream "gender reassignment surgery'' every time he rolls down the street.

Now let's look at this fellow's neighbour, who we'll assume votes Green and doesn't own a calculator.

He bought a Prius. Covering the same distance annually, he'll have to drive that thing for about 25 miserable hybrid years before he sees an economic advantage over the V8 owner.

It'll be 2032 - deep into Prime Minister Rudd's ninth term - by the time Mr Prius is in front.

If the PM truly cared about the national economy, he'd have all his ministers stomping about in big-arse second-hand Holdens.

Obviously, you don't have to use all your V8 savings on petrol.

You could spend some of it on a massive plasma screen TV to keep that yappy spouse quiet while you ponder the other benefits of cheap V8 ownership:

You save thousands while laughing in the face of bossy old hag Mother Earth. Win/win!

Instead of killing Michael Stipe - almost run over by a silent hybrid while crossing a Los Angeles street in 2004 - your rumbling V8 will alert the enigmatic REM lead singer to the presence of traffic, thus allowing the planet to enjoy his band's latest album Accelerate.

Which I'm told is excellent.

Hybrids are notoriously complicated and difficult to repair. By contrast, all you ever need to fix a V8 is a hammer, some wire and maybe a lump of wood.

Some V8s appreciate. Last year a 1971 Ford Falcon GTHO Phase III sold for $750,000. Economy cars rarely increase in value.

An eight-year-old V8 is much cheaper to insure than an expensive Tsutsumi voltbox. More savings.
When time comes to send your simple V8 to the wrecker, you won't need a team of trained experts wearing HAZMAT outfits to deal with various chemicals, toxins, exotic metals and other mutant-creating battery poisons.

Frenchman Leon Levavasseur took out a patent on the V8 engine in 1902. He lived for 59 years _ not bad for his era.

This week it was reported that a Japanese engineer designing a hybrid Toyota Camry died at just 45 from stress.

Don't join him.

Buy a V8.
 

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:lmao: :lmao:

This article is great.......


Fav. quotes....

Is earning street cred from people who think cars should be illegal anyway really worth such a massive investment?
Instead of killing Michael Stipe - almost run over by a silent hybrid while crossing a Los Angeles street in 2004 - your rumbling V8 will alert the enigmatic REM lead singer to the presence of traffic, thus allowing the planet to enjoy his band's latest album Accelerate.
Frenchman Leon Levavasseur took out a patent on the V8 engine in 1902. He lived for 59 years _ not bad for his era.

This week it was reported that a Japanese engineer designing a hybrid Toyota Camry died at just 45 from stress.

Don't join him.

Buy a V8.
 

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Used cars almost always make more financial sense than new ones. But I don't think the article was intended as a serious piece anyway.
 
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