Ticket, please.

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Thread: Ticket, please.

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    4.4 Liter Supercharged Northstar IROCNROL1's Avatar
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    Ticket, please.

    Not really sure where to put this one, so it goes here. This is a real situation though, not a joke.

    Back in the mid 1990s a friend of my wife's came by our house in Bethany, Oklahoma one day. They chatted a while before my wife deduced that she wanted to say something but was having trouble starting.

    Finally she worked up the courage to begin. "My boyfriend and I drove out to Lake Hefner yesterday evening to watch the sunset. It was beautiful and after it started getting dark we sat there talking for over an hour.

    One thing led to another and we ended up in the backseat, partially clad, doing what guys and gals sometimes do when alone and attracted to each other. We were nearing a critical moment when someone banged on the car window.

    It was a cop. I was so embarrassed I couldn't even look him in the face. Here I was, 38 years old, and getting busted like a teenager. We ended up getting ticketed for indecent exposure along with a lecture to find a more private place the next time we couldn't control our passion. I STILL haven't gotten over my embarrassment."

    Being the compassionate guy that I am, I felt it was my duty to make her feel better. So I said "Well, look on the bright side. At least it wasn't a moving violation. Oh, I guess it WAS though, huh?"

    She looked stunned for a couple of seconds and then burst out laughing. My wife joined in too.

    I just love happy endings. Don't you?
    Last edited by IROCNROL1; 08-18-2019 at 10:50 PM.
    It sounded pretty good until I actually said it.

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    R2-D2 Astromech Droid Premium Member Neanderthal's Avatar
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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Happy endings indeed. They should have issued the cop a ticket for Peeping Tommery (or whatever his name was, Peeping Dave, Peeping Dwight, Peeping Fred). What a perv!
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    Re: Ticket, please.

    That's funny. Sometimes happens. And the consequences, well.....

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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neanderthal View Post
    Happy endings indeed. They should have issued the cop a ticket for Peeping Tommery (or whatever his name was, Peeping Dave, Peeping Dwight, Peeping Fred). What a perv!
    Cut the cop some slack please. He just needed a break from writing speeding tickets all day. And boy, did he get one!

    I actually have another true story that is very similar and yet even more hilarious. I just don't think I could tone it down to a PG rating.
    It sounded pretty good until I actually said it.

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    R2-D2 Astromech Droid Premium Member Neanderthal's Avatar
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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by IROCNROL1 View Post
    Cut the cop some slack please. He just needed a break from writing speeding tickets all day. And boy, did he get one!

    I actually have another true story that is very similar and yet even more hilarious. I just don't think I could tone it down to a PG rating.
    You could use bleeps. "And then they ****** ********* ******** *** ***** and *************************************
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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neanderthal View Post
    You could use bleeps. "And then they ****** ********* ******** *** ***** and *************************************
    That's amazingly close to what actually happened! You sure I haven't told you that one before?

    I might have to PM you and let you see my difficulty in toning it down.
    It sounded pretty good until I actually said it.

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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neanderthal View Post
    You could use bleeps. "And then they ****** ********* ******** *** ***** and *************************************
    that explains the rear suspension and the dents (-:

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    Re: Ticket, please.

    I work as a diesel mechanic and years ago we had a semi-truck that would make horrible noises for the driver but we could never reproduce the issue - the driver refused to use it till it is fixed
    so I started driving it home trying to get it to act up
    a mate of mine had a goal of "doing it" everywhere and got wind I had a semi at my house and around midnight decided to shag his GF in it
    The truck in question did NOT have a sleeper and was a cab over ford - the cops got called when someone complained about the A**'s PRESSED up against the windshield
    PS we found the broken piece in the dash causing the noises
    Last edited by richmond2000; 08-21-2019 at 09:01 AM.

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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by IROCNROL1 View Post
    That's amazingly close to what actually happened! You sure I haven't told you that one before?

    I might have to PM you and let you see my difficulty in toning it down.
    I can't remember. But I DO remember that I'm a proud graduate of Madame Tussaud's Psychic Truck Driver's and Bingo Professionals School!

    Quote Originally Posted by richmond2000 View Post
    I work as a diesel mechanic and years ago we had a semi-truck that would make horrible noises for the driver but we could never reproduce the issue - the driver refused to use it till it is fixed
    so I started driving it home trying to get it to act up
    a mate of mine had a goal of "doing it" everywhere and got wind I had a semi at my house and around midnight decided to shag his GF in it
    The truck in question did NOT have a sleeper and was a cab over ford - the cops got called when someone complained about the A**'s PRESSED up against the windshield
    PS we found the broken piece in the dash causing the noises
    That's what I'd call a half-assed repair job.
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    Re: Ticket, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neanderthal View Post
    I can't remember. But I DO remember that I'm a proud graduate of Madame Tussaud's Psychic Truck Driver's and Bingo Professionals School!



    That's what I'd call a half-assed repair job.
    Strange things can happen when there's a double full moon.
    It sounded pretty good until I actually said it.

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