Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

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Thread: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

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    Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    After a news filled several weeks, where GM has dumped Opel, Vauxhall, pulled out of Europe and promises more "pruning", some good new today from Mary Barra. A complete revamp of Chevrolet's passenger car line up. A search of GM turned up no one who has a gift for product planning, so Bob Lutz has been re-hired to tackle the task. When asked, Barra stated, "Yes, Mr. Lutz is almost 90, but we really have no one else at GM with clue number one on product and it's placement".

    As opposed to the last time Lutz worked at GM, he now has a budget - and a big one! And free product reign.

    Lutz stated today, that Job 1 is to put EVERYONE at GM Design on 90 day probation. Any more ugly or weird designs will be met with a quick demotion to the Cadillac SoHo coffee house.

    The line up will look like this:

    Impala: In a nod back to the days when Impala was America's fulllsized car and sold 1 million units per year, Impala is going RWD. It will be based on Omega. Will offer a spacious interior. large trunk and be available with a variety of GM powertrains, including an AWD option. An Impala SS is rumored with LT1 and available 6 speed manual and targeted to be priced under $50,000. This will be the beautifully styled, full sized family sedan, to bring folks back into cars.


    Camaro: Lutz, after discovering that Camaro has a nearly 9 month inventory on dealer lots, will take swift, firm action. It's designers will NOT get the 90 day probation the rest of GM Design will get. No, they will immediately be transferred to SoHo and be retrained as coffee baristas. Lutz was overheard as saying: "The Camaro is a badass car and deserves a badass look. It's not a cartoon. It's not a Transformer. It's not supposed to look weird. Make it beautiful, now!". In addition, a 5.3L V8 will be added as a midlevel engine choice and price will be reduced $2500 across the board.

    Malibu and Cruze: These two will be combined into one model. The goal is to make it the best mid sized sedan in the world. Better than Accord. Better than Camry. Much better!

    Sonic: Here's an opportunity to do something cool. Sonic needs to bring up it's street cred. Think of Mini Cooper meets WRX. Sonic will be redesigned to accept AWD and and GM's 2.0 liter turbo engine. It will be repositioned to fill in where the Cruze left off and target young enthusiasts with an affordable range of performance models.
    Last edited by Z284ever; 03-14-2017 at 01:14 PM.
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    Re: Fake News About GM From Mary Barra!

    For a moment I thought about others kinds of rumors about Mary Barra like "Mary Barra pushed out to the exit door?".

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    Re: GM Fake News From Mary Barra!

    you're two weeks early with this...

    Want to write our April fools post this year Z?

    LOL
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    Re: GM Fake News From Mary Barra!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Accardi View Post
    you're two weeks early with this...

    Want to write our April fools post this year Z?

    LOL
    I was thinking of waiting, but I might be travelling. That's why I qualified it with the "fake news" moniker. At any rate, I just thought it was time for some relief from all the GM in retreat talk.
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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    I tried sending this to Bob Lutz, but his old GM email address is inactive. I'd love to hear his response to this. I'm sure it'd be interesting and hilarious.


    EDIT: Maybe it will end up matriculating to him.
    Last edited by Z284ever; 03-14-2017 at 01:28 PM.
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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Z284ever View Post
    I tried sending this to Bob Lutz, but his old GM email address is inactive. I'd love to hear his response to this. I'm sure it'd be interesting and hilarious.


    EDIT: Maybe it will end up matriculating to him.
    I don't know how many of them still float around here TBH. I know Al O pokes around from time to time and PR keeps tabs on us.

    Mark Reuss was also trolling us on Facebook for a while, before I trolled him back obviously.
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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Accardi View Post
    I don't know how many of them still float around here TBH. I know Al O pokes around from time to time and PR keeps tabs on us.

    Mark Reuss was also trolling us on Facebook for a while, before I trolled him back obviously.
    I wonder why that is....

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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Nice early April Fool's 'article'.

    Too bad Bob's influence on design (especially interiors) left the building not long after he did. They're already backsliding to the old GM "cheapthink" attitude.

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    Re: GM Fake News From Mary Barra!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Accardi View Post
    you're two weeks early with this...

    Want to write our April fools post this year Z?

    LOL
    Can you just do it the easy way and change the date in the thread to April 1 ?
    currently:

    2009 G8 GT
    2007 Saturn Aura
    1966 Grand Prix 421-376 HO TH-400
    1963 Grand Prix 389-303
    1961 Ventura 389-348 HO Tri-Power, 4 speed

    and in the last 15 years or so:

    1993 STS
    1995 STS
    1995 Z-28 vert
    1997 DeVille Concours
    1998 C5 vert
    2000 DTS
    2002 DTS
    2004 Grand Prix GTP

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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Z284ever View Post
    After a news filled several weeks, where GM has dumped Opel, Vauxhall, pulled out of Europe and promises more "pruning", some good new today from Mary Barra. A complete revamp of Chevrolet's passenger car line up. A search of GM turned up no one who has a gift for product planning, so Bob Lutz has been re-hired to tackle the task. When asked, Barra stated, "Yes, Mr. Lutz is almost 90, but we really have no one else at GM with clue number one on product and it's placement".

    As opposed to the last time Lutz worked at GM, he now has a budget - and a big one! And free product reign.

    Lutz stated today, that Job 1 is to put EVERYONE at GM Design on 90 day probation. Any more ugly or weird designs will be met with a quick demotion to the Cadillac SoHo coffee house.

    The line up will look like this:

    Impala: In a nod back to the days when Impala was America's fulllsized car and sold 1 million units per year, Impala is going RWD. It will be based on Omega. Will offer a spacious interior. large trunk and be available with a variety of GM powertrains, including an AWD option. An Impala SS is rumored with LT1 and available 6 speed manual and targeted to be priced under $50,000. This will be the beautifully styled, full sized family sedan, to bring folks back into cars.


    Camaro: Lutz, after discovering that Camaro has a nearly 9 month inventory on dealer lots, will take swift, firm action. It's designers will NOT get the 90 day probation the rest of GM Design will get. No, they will immediately be transferred to SoHo and be retrained as coffee baristas. Lutz was overheard as saying: "The Camaro is a badass car and deserves a badass look. It's not a cartoon. It's not a Transformer. It's not supposed to look weird. Make it beautiful, now!". In addition, a 5.3L V8 will be added as a midlevel engine choice and price will be reduced $2500 across the board.

    Malibu and Cruze: These two will be combined into one model. The goal is to make it the best mid sized sedan in the world. Better than Accord. Better than Camry. Much better!

    Sonic: Here's an opportunity to do something cool. Sonic needs to bring up it's street cred. Think of Mini Cooper meets WRX. Sonic will be redesigned to accept AWD and and GM's 2.0 liter turbo engine. It will be repositioned to fill in where the Cruze left off and target young enthusiasts with an affordable range of performance models.
    "Impala: In a nod back to the days when Impala was America's fulllsized car and sold 1 million units per year, Impala is going RWD. It will be based on Omega. Will offer a spacious interior. large trunk and be available with a variety of GM powertrains, including an AWD option. An Impala SS is rumored with LT1 and available 6 speed manual and targeted to be priced under $50,000. This will be the beautifully styled, full sized family sedan, to bring folks back into cars."

    This would make far too much sense!
    currently:

    2009 G8 GT
    2007 Saturn Aura
    1966 Grand Prix 421-376 HO TH-400
    1963 Grand Prix 389-303
    1961 Ventura 389-348 HO Tri-Power, 4 speed

    and in the last 15 years or so:

    1993 STS
    1995 STS
    1995 Z-28 vert
    1997 DeVille Concours
    1998 C5 vert
    2000 DTS
    2002 DTS
    2004 Grand Prix GTP

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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by scotth3886 View Post
    "Impala: In a nod back to the days when Impala was America's fulllsized car and sold 1 million units per year, Impala is going RWD. It will be based on Omega. Will offer a spacious interior. large trunk and be available with a variety of GM powertrains, including an AWD option. An Impala SS is rumored with LT1 and available 6 speed manual and targeted to be priced under $50,000. This will be the beautifully styled, full sized family sedan, to bring folks back into cars."

    This would make far too much sense!
    Would love to see it happen. Making the Sonic something cool with street credibility is also critical in my book.
    Pony Car: an affordable, compact, highly styled car with a sporty or performance-oriented image and an available V8.

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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Impala going RWD on Omega makes a ridiculous amount of sense. It needs to stand out from the rest of the lineup. Plus, and speaking selfishly here, if Charger does downsize as rumored with the next generation, they can kiss their law enforcement market goodbye. A RWD Impala 9C1 with an LT1 would easily slide into that role.

    Let Malibu handle the mid to large FWD sedan market. It keeps growing anyways.
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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Accardi View Post
    I don't know how many of them still float around here TBH. I know Al O pokes around from time to time and PR keeps tabs on us.

    Mark Reuss was also trolling us on Facebook for a while, before I trolled him back obviously.
    I'll send Mark and Al links to some of our threads now and again.
    Pony Car: an affordable, compact, highly styled car with a sporty or performance-oriented image and an available V8.

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    Re: Fake News: Mary Barra Announces Bob Lutz's Return to GM!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by FenwickHockey65 View Post
    Impala going RWD on Omega makes a ridiculous amount of sense. It needs to stand out from the rest of the lineup. Plus, and speaking selfishly here, if Charger does downsize as rumored with the next generation, they can kiss their law enforcement market goodbye. A RWD Impala 9C1 with an LT1 would easily slide into that role.

    Let Malibu handle the mid to large FWD sedan market. It keeps growing anyways.
    Agreed on Malibu. I'd rather see GM make one fantastic sedan, rather than three "good" ones which bracket the same segment.
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    Re: GM Fake News From Mary Barra!

    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Accardi View Post
    you're two weeks early with this...

    Want to write our April fools post this year Z?

    LOL
    To be a good April fools post it has to have a shred of believability. If you don't want a Camaro GM makes nothing under $50k that has even a tiny bit of desirability to the enthusiast. Z28 listed several, no ones going to believe that.

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