A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner

gmmerc5 · 11-06-2009, 05:24 PM

What They’re Saying

A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner

I just have way too many problems with this car. Let’s start with the exterior:

1. The styling is too aggressive. I’m a pretty passive person by nature and I don’t want the personality of this car to project onto me. The front looks like a snarling animal ready to pounce. Scary.

2. The paint is too shiny. I spent last Saturday applying ZAINO to the car and I must have done it wrong because I can’t even tell what color it is anymore (Victory Red, BTW). All I can see is shine and reflection.

3. It’s too sexy. What with the curves and hips that the body features, I’m starting to have feelings about this car that no Christian man should have. I haven’t looked it up but I’m pretty sure it’s a sin.

Now about the interior:
1. The seat fits too well. I think Oshawans must have busted into my house while I was sleeping and measured my butt because the driver’s seat feels like it was made for my body. Creepy.

2. The audio system is too loud. I can’t even have a decent conversation with my wife because the audio system is always blaring Classic Rock and we’re singing at the top of our lungs. That can’t be good for marital relations.

On to performance problems:
1. They gave me the wrong motor. When I ordered the 1LT several “friends” intimated that I was a wuss for not getting the V8. The V6 is a “woman’s car.” (I’m sure they meant no offense...) I think the Oshawans seriously screwed up and gave me the V8 because this thing is way too fast for a V6. It practically LEAPS when I step on the gas.

2. There’s no indication of excessive speed. I’m used to a car shaking like a gypsy wagon (pots and pans clanging, dead chickens swinging) when I approach 70 mph but this thing is way too smooth. I’m just casually driving, happen to look down and, to my understandable HORROR, I’m doing 85! Smooth as air hockey. That CAN’T be good.

Finally – general overall problems:
1. The odometer must be WAY off. There’s no way I’ve put that many miles on it already. Just because I drive 45 miles round trip over twisty-turny country roads to get a hamburger, it shouldn’t add up THAT fast. 110 miles round trip for a Chipotle burrito shouldn’t be excessive. And don’t even get me going about a T-Bone steak!

2. I’m unable to keep up with my TV watching. I don’t know what I’m going to do when 24 starts up again.

3. I hate letting it out of my sight. I find myself parking 6 miles away from store entrances (after letting the wife out at the door - I’m not a caveman...) because I’m deathly afraid some crazy, loony, Charlie Manson looking nut-job will give me a door ding. I’m seriously angry if a butterfly farts on my car. I don’t think my heart can take the stress.

4. People keep LOOKING at me. I feel like I’m in a July 4th parade! I really can’t stand all the attention. My smile muscles hurt and my right thumb is going to be in a cast at this rate. Who needs that?

So, as you can see, I have no choice but to return the Camaro since I can’t imagine any of these problems ever being resolved. Oh wait – CRAP! I just remembered... I sold my 60 day return policy back to the dealer for $500. Well, I guess I’ll just have to live with it. Maybe it will grow on me.

Signed – Roger B.

Hitman1970 · 11-06-2009, 06:27 PM

That's a fantastic complaint letter.

MalibuMaxxSS · 11-06-2009, 06:31 PM

#$%^in EH........those are some good problems to have right there..

awsome letter, you should mail it

mattyman1010 · 11-06-2009, 07:39 PM

Haha that is one awesome letter. On a study break ( eoy exams 11 day away) its nice to have a grin put back on my face

2002 Caddy · 11-06-2009, 08:20 PM

You missed the problem with the rear view mirrors... One second there is a car right beside you and a split second later they are so small in the rear view mirrors that you can barely see them...

When I first got my NorthStar Caddy seven years ago I had the same problem... You'd think that GM would have fixed the rear view mirrors on its cars by now

Calais6666 · 11-06-2009, 09:10 PM

Great letter and I know exactly how you feel. I bought a new SS Commodore some time and I can relate exactly to your problems. Now if Holden would just get the Camaro over here (for a reasonable price) I could re-visit those issues

XenoRad · 11-06-2009, 09:59 PM

You should definitely send that letter. I sent a similar one about my Corolla a few days back.

plane · 11-06-2009, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XenoRad

You should definitely send that letter. I sent a similar one about my Corolla a few days back.

Congrutulations.
You just garnered my vote for the most misplaced post on this entire site.

Even more congratulations to the Disgruntled Camaro Owner.
And thanks for not mentioning the backseat sex in detail.

Neanderthal · 11-07-2009, 01:31 AM

wElL thEn gO bAcK tOO yoUr tOYletTa deAler anD trAdE it oN a koRoLLer!!!

FenwickHockey65 · 11-07-2009, 02:23 AM

GM already knows about the "letter," and they absolutely loved it.

OLDSCHOOLGMFAN · 11-07-2009, 02:47 AM

Plum funny!

chevydlrmn · 11-07-2009, 12:07 PM

Do the butterflies get to live after they fart on it?

11-06-2009, 05:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
gmmerc5 2.4 Liter SIDI ECOTEC Join Date: May 2003 Location: Kansas City Drives: 2002 C5 coupe 2003 Pontiac Vibe Posts: 216	A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner What They’re Saying A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner I just have way too many problems with this car. Let’s start with the exterior: 1. The styling is too aggressive. I’m a pretty passive person by nature and I don’t want the personality of this car to project onto me. The front looks like a snarling animal ready to pounce. Scary. 2. The paint is too shiny. I spent last Saturday applying ZAINO to the car and I must have done it wrong because I can’t even tell what color it is anymore (Victory Red, BTW). All I can see is shine and reflection. 3. It’s too sexy. What with the curves and hips that the body features, I’m starting to have feelings about this car that no Christian man should have. I haven’t looked it up but I’m pretty sure it’s a sin. Now about the interior: 1. The seat fits too well. I think Oshawans must have busted into my house while I was sleeping and measured my butt because the driver’s seat feels like it was made for my body. Creepy. 2. The audio system is too loud. I can’t even have a decent conversation with my wife because the audio system is always blaring Classic Rock and we’re singing at the top of our lungs. That can’t be good for marital relations. On to performance problems: 1. They gave me the wrong motor. When I ordered the 1LT several “friends” intimated that I was a wuss for not getting the V8. The V6 is a “woman’s car.” (I’m sure they meant no offense...) I think the Oshawans seriously screwed up and gave me the V8 because this thing is way too fast for a V6. It practically LEAPS when I step on the gas. 2. There’s no indication of excessive speed. I’m used to a car shaking like a gypsy wagon (pots and pans clanging, dead chickens swinging) when I approach 70 mph but this thing is way too smooth. I’m just casually driving, happen to look down and, to my understandable HORROR, I’m doing 85! Smooth as air hockey. That CAN’T be good. Finally – general overall problems: 1. The odometer must be WAY off. There’s no way I’ve put that many miles on it already. Just because I drive 45 miles round trip over twisty-turny country roads to get a hamburger, it shouldn’t add up THAT fast. 110 miles round trip for a Chipotle burrito shouldn’t be excessive. And don’t even get me going about a T-Bone steak! 2. I’m unable to keep up with my TV watching. I don’t know what I’m going to do when 24 starts up again. 3. I hate letting it out of my sight. I find myself parking 6 miles away from store entrances (after letting the wife out at the door - I’m not a caveman...) because I’m deathly afraid some crazy, loony, Charlie Manson looking nut-job will give me a door ding. I’m seriously angry if a butterfly farts on my car. I don’t think my heart can take the stress. 4. People keep LOOKING at me. I feel like I’m in a July 4th parade! I really can’t stand all the attention. My smile muscles hurt and my right thumb is going to be in a cast at this rate. Who needs that? So, as you can see, I have no choice but to return the Camaro since I can’t imagine any of these problems ever being resolved. Oh wait – CRAP! I just remembered... I sold my 60 day return policy back to the dealer for $500. Well, I guess I’ll just have to live with it. Maybe it will grow on me. Signed – Roger B.

11-06-2009, 06:31 PM	#3 (permalink)
MalibuMaxxSS 3.6 Liter SIDI V6 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: British Columbia Drives: 2006 Malibu Maxx SS Posts: 1,142	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner #$%^in EH........those are some good problems to have right there.. awsome letter, you should mail it __________________ "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms."

11-06-2009, 07:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
mattyman1010 2.4 Liter SIDI ECOTEC Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Auckland City Posts: 488	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner Haha that is one awesome letter. On a study break ( eoy exams 11 day away) its nice to have a grin put back on my face __________________ "You can't sacrifice future product for short-term finanical gains. That's like a farmer eating his seed potatoes instead of planting them." - Bob Lutz. Add me one Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MatthewJones93?ref=profile

11-06-2009, 08:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
2002 Caddy 7.0 Liter LS7 V8 Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 4,041	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner You missed the problem with the rear view mirrors... One second there is a car right beside you and a split second later they are so small in the rear view mirrors that you can barely see them... When I first got my NorthStar Caddy seven years ago I had the same problem... You'd think that GM would have fixed the rear view mirrors on its cars by now __________________ Cadillac! GM's "Back to the Future" Division GM's Deja Vu Division Cadillac is a Car.

11-06-2009, 09:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
Calais6666 1.4 Liter Turbocharged ECOTEC Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: At Home in Australia Drives: Holden VE Sportswagon Posts: 61	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner Great letter and I know exactly how you feel. I bought a new SS Commodore some time and I can relate exactly to your problems. Now if Holden would just get the Camaro over here (for a reasonable price) I could re-visit those issues

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11-06-2009, 09:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
XenoRad 2.5L Iron Duke Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Romania Drives: Euro Toyota Corolla 1.6 SOL Posts: 22	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner You should definitely send that letter. I sent a similar one about my Corolla a few days back.

11-07-2009, 01:31 AM	#9 (permalink)
Neanderthal Chevrolet VOLT Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Caveville, Neanderthallande: Have Club, Will Travel Drives: 07 KIA Spectra. The Other Peninsula car. Posts: 10,531	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner wElL thEn gO bAcK tOO yoUr tOYletTa deAler anD trAdE it oN a koRoLLer!!! __________________ formerly LAMRONH "I never heard a truly wise person call themself wise."--Rush caller, 03JUN09 "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." --Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writing under the pseudonym of Stephen G Tallentyre in "The Friends of Voltaire" (1906) "Can't...can't...can't...we all...just...get along?" --Rodney King "Wake up, Amurrica!" --Earl Pitts, Amurrican

11-07-2009, 02:23 AM	#10 (permalink)
FenwickHockey65 News Contributor Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: West Chester, OH Drives: Chevrolet Malibu LS, GMC Envoy SLE, GMC Sonoma SLS Posts: 9,303	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner GM already knows about the "letter," and they absolutely loved it. __________________ Proud to drive American. Proud to drive GM. Current Cars: 2007 Chevrolet Malibu LS: 2.2L ECOTEC I-4 2003 GMC Envoy SLE: 4.2L Vortec 4200 I-6 1998 GMC Sonoma SLS Ext. Cab: 4.3L Vortec 4300 V6 Former Cars: 1993 Saturn SW2 (1993-2006, 243,000 miles) 1989 GMC Safari SLT (1989-2003, 293,000 miles) Future Car: 2010 Chevrolet Camaro 2LT RS: 3.6L SIDI High-Feature V6

11-07-2009, 02:47 AM	#11 (permalink)
OLDSCHOOLGMFAN 3.6 Liter SIDI V6 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Classic REAL GM ville. Drives: 2007 Monte Carlo SS. 2009 Buick Lucerne Super. Posts: 1,092	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner Plum funny! __________________ I WANT GM TO GO BACK TO DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST. IF NOT, THEN THEY DESERVE TO FADE AWAY. PRESENT GM FLEET: '07 MONTE CARLO SS. 'O5 BONNEVILLE GXP '09 BUICK LUCERNE SUPER. PAST GM FLEET: '80 CAMARO Z28, '77 CAPRICE CLASSIC SEDAN, '78 MONTE CARLO, '81 PONTIAC TRANS AM, '83 OLDS TORONADO, '87 CAMARO IROC-Z, '87 PONTIAC TRANS AM GTA, '91 CHEVY CAPRICE SEDAN, '79 PONTIAC BONNEVILLE, '87 MONTE CARLO SS, '97 BUICK REGAL, '95 CHEVY CAPRICE SEDAN, '81 BUICK RIVIERA, '85 CHEVY G20 CONVERSION VAN.

11-07-2009, 12:07 PM	#12 (permalink)
chevydlrmn 3.6 Liter SIDI V6 Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: North Central Region, WOL Drives: 2006 CK15753 LQ9 Posts: 1,074	Re: A Letter from a Disgruntled Camaro Owner Do the butterflies get to live after they fart on it?

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