Here's how our household made out:
Me — "
Smelly Smurf" (using my given name, Gerald)
Me — "
Vanilla Smurf" (using my nickname, Jay)
Wife — "
Magical Smurf" (using married name)
Wife — "
Bubbles Smurf" (using maiden name)
#1 Son — "
Daisy Smurf" (guess what my new nickname for him is?
)
Daughter — "
Itty Bitty Smurf"
#2 Son — "
Scruffy Smurf" (using nickname, Charlie)
#2 Son — "
Ol' Mac Smurf" (using given name, Charles)
#3 Son — "
Tickle Smurf"
However, my #3 son should be named
"Most-Rancid-Baby-Poo-Smell-Smurf"
My wife's suggestions for me:
Dilettante Smurf
Egomaniac Smurf
Ebenezer Smurf
Snoring Smurf
Will-anything-EVER-be-good-enough-for-you-Smurf
So I retorted with:
Will-have-a-moustache-like-Magnum-PI-when-youre-50 Smurf
I've-had-better-cooking-than-yours-in-prison Smurf
Allergic-to-the-washing-machine Smurf
Should-feel-guilty-for-leaving-your-kids-to-go-out-of-town-Smurf
and the one that'll land me in the dog house (or divorce court)...
You're-not-as-thin-as-when-I-married-you Smurf