[tomprice]

Originally Posted by BigAls87Z28

Lets not get political on this...but last one tonight...

President Bush was informed that 3 Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq while trying to rescue Jessica Lynch. Bush, visibly shaken, asked "How many is a brazilian?"

LOL! brilliant..
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Doc, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.""Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."
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An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I cut off your arms."
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One says to the other, "Dam!"
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak got chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that "You can't have your kayak and heat it too."
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?" they asked."Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal" The other goes to a family in Spain, who call name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds: "They're twins! Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
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Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced a handsome set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail... and because of his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (brace yourself) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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Lady P: "yes Parker - come here please"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to unbutton my dress front"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to unzip my dress back"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to take off my dress"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to unclip my bra"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to remove my bra"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Paker, I want you to slip down my tights"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to take of my tights"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to pull down my panties"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker, I want you to remove my panties"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady"
Lady P: "Parker"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady ?"
Lady P: "I never want to find you wearing my clothes again"
Parker: "yes Mi'Lady".
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Bill and Ben, the Flowerpot Men are in the bath.
Bill says ; "Flobadobadobahflobble"
Ben says; "If you fart again you're getting out!"
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How many Englishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

What do you mean, change it?!? It's a perfectly good light bulb. Been in the family for generations!!!
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